Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
