Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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