K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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