areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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