her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
