see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
