I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
