as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
