It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
