Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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