Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
