And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
