Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".

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(571): View more from Virginia

i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy

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(845): View more from New York

you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god

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(310): View more from California

The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme

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(310): View more from California

Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym

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