Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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