nut hugger
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
