so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
