We're like a lot better than the average bears
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
