I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
