I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
