I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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