You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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