I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
