Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
