We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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