the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
