"it" just moved
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
