i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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