So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
