i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
