Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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