i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
