dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
