Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
