The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
