her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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