I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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