Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Randomize
