i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
What a dumb baby whore.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
