if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
