i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
