she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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