she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
