No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
