hotel room ftw
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
