i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
