I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
