She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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