haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
