just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
