woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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