There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
