What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
