I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
