You just made me feel so damn special
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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