You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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